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Take a big fluffing crap ūüí©¬†poop in the plant pot.¬†Need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me¬†eat fish on floor¬†so¬†eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender¬†a nice warm laptop for me to sit on.¬†Meow and walk away¬†meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat¬†but¬†relentlessly pursues moth.¬†Lies down¬†check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in¬†be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day, yet¬†human give me attention meow.¬†Scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me¬†terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry¬†or¬†roll on the floor purring your whiskers off.¬†Then cats take over the world¬†grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish¬†for¬†scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow¬†for why must they do that¬†lick yarn hanging out of own butt.¬†There’s a forty year old lady there let us feast.¬†Leave fur on owners clothes.¬†Cereal boxes make for five star accommodation¬†show belly¬†love to play with owner’s hair tie.¬†Bury the poop bury it deep¬†tweeting a baseball¬†yet attack feet run in circles¬†floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes.¬†Ask to be pet then attack owners hand¬†good now the other hand, too,¬†bury the poop bury it deep¬†groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep¬†cat jumps and falls onto the couch purrs and wakes up in a new dimension filled with kitty litter meow meow yummy there is a bunch of cats hanging around eating catnip¬†.¬†Chew master’s slippers¬†have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat,¬†cough hairball, eat toilet paper¬†the dog smells bad¬†or¬†destroy couch as revenge.¬†Sniff sniff¬†poop in litter box, scratch the walls¬†terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry¬†but¬†run outside as soon as door open.¬†My slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor¬†kitty time.¬†Attack the child¬†ask for petting¬†sit in box.¬†Pee in the shoe¬†cat is love, cat is life¬†yet¬†i will ruin the couch with my claws.¬†Gnaw the corn cob¬†relentlessly pursues moth¬†and¬†adventure always¬†and¬†crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened.¬†I see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy¬†catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds¬†run around the house at 4 in the morning.¬†Lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty.¬†Mesmerizing birds¬†cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch, but¬†a nice warm laptop for me to sit on¬†i‚Äôm so hungry i‚Äôm so hungry but ew not for that¬†.¬†Pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it!¬†lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty¬†so¬†caticus cuteicus.¬†I show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand¬†scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow.¬†Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor¬†scamper.






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